On another beautiful Thursday in Bimini, Bahamas, a day that changed everything, Mary Lyman Rivers and her family made their way to the end of the rickety wooden deck to greet their stepdad, Burt, after a long-awaited scuba dive. Mary Lyman and her sisters had “waited for what felt like years” for this spring break trip to roll around; in reality, it was just a few short months. All dressed in their beach gear with cornrows in their hair, the three sisters and their mother could not wait to retrieve Burt and move on to their next activity on the island. The Rivers girls knew that there was much more of Bimini to see, and they were not about to let this opportunity pass.
After minute thirty of the wait for Burt, a tall man, fairly young-looking, with long, braided jet black hair approached Mary Lyman and her family. With a shaky voice, the man said, “I am looking for the wife of Burton Stodghill.”
Although Burt was their stepfather, Mary Lyman, Grace, and Amelia thought of him as much more–their real father, a best friend, and a hero all in one. He was described as “a big teddy bear that could brighten your whole day with a simple hug.” Being a certified scuba diver, Burt was determined to complete a more complicated dive during this spring break trip, so he gave it a shot. Around 9:30 AM, Burt suited up in his scuba gear and jumped into the crystal clear Carribbean Sea.
Chills ran down Mary Lyman’s arms and legs, as she watched her mother motion for her and her sisters to go wait inside of the gift shop about ten yards from where they were standing. Amelia, the youngest sister could see that her older sisters were nervous and began to ask several questions.
“Why were they looking for our mom?” Nobody knew the answer.
“Is there something wrong with Burt?” Again, the older sisters did not know how to respond.
Finally, Mary Lyman distracted Amelia by showing her some of the beaded shark tooth necklaces and the tacky, colorful t-shirts around the gift shop. As the large man and their mother began to approach the gift shop, the girls sprinted out of the door and immediately knew something was wrong by the somber look on their mother’s face. Struggling to get a single word out, Mrs. Catherine mumbled, “Girls, Burt is gone.” After hearing those heartbreaking words, an instant feeling of numbness fell over Mary Lyman’s body. Mrs. Catherine’s panic attack lasted for what seemed like hours, so when it came time for somebody to identify the body, fifteen-year-old Mary Lyman knew that she had to step up to the plate for her family’s sake.
“The first thing I saw when I walked into that awful place was a metal table, and on it was a body covered in a huge white sheet. I noticed that the sheet had scuba flippers coming out from the bottom, and that’s when I knew it was Burt.” Although she was confident that the body under the sheet was her beloved stepdad, the morgue worker was still required to pull down the sheet and let her identify the body with certainty. “His lips were purple and his body looked pale and cold.” At this very moment, Mary Lyman came to the realization that this was the beginning of a whole new life–a life without Burt.
On the day of Burt’s funeral, the campus of St. Paul’s Episcopal School was eerie and melancholy. The three sisters and their mother anxiously sat in the foyer of the church as friends and family began to pile in the pews. My friend Kenley and I left school early to attend the funeral–the first funeral that I had ever been to. I looked to my right and made eye contact with a puffy-eyed Mary Lyman tightly gripping on to her mother’s arm. She stayed that way for the entire service. The two hours to follow were unforgettable for anyone attending. Tears were shed, laughs were heard, and hearts were at ease as the St. Paul’s community remembered Burt’s life.
The role of being the oldest sister now held a completely different meaning. The luxurious and carefree life that the Rivers family lived before no longer existed. Everything changed in the blink of an eye, and adjusting seemed impossible. Petite, fifteen-year-old Mary Lyman now had to act as a second mom to her sisters. The days to follow seemed endless and the Rivers household was lifeless. Walking into their house was not a familiar feeling, but a cold and dark feeling; it was as if you could feel the sadness as soon as you opened the squeaky front door. Mary Lyman explains, “I was a completely different person in literally one short week. Simple things like getting out of bed or going to school seemed impossible for a long time. All I wanted to do was bury my face in my pillow and cry for hours.” Mourning felt right, but the three sisters knew that it would not change anything. It would only make them more upset.
This experience taught the Rivers family the true value of family and the importance of the love you share with one another. It is understood that the emptiness that each of them feels without Burt can never be filled, but they know that it is more important to celebrate the amazing moments that they were fortunate enough to have with him rather than sit around all day crying and mourning. Mary Lyman says to me, “I learned to be strong for my sisters and even my mom. More importantly, I learned that life is short, and it is important to treasure each moment you have with a loved one, and I definitely treasured my time with Burt.” The tragedy that occurred on March 2, 2017, in Bimini, Bahamas, will never be forgotten, and neither will the beautiful life of Burton Stodghill.